Making the Tough Call

 A few weeks ago, I had to have a tough conversation with my oldest daughter. She’d been asking for a phone, and while we initially considered a basic model with limited features, we ultimately decided to hold off. It wasn’t an easy decision. A lot of kids her age already have phones, and even though some of her classmates don’t, she was understandably disappointed. In some ways it would have been easier to give in, but we knew that waiting was the right choice for our family.

That experience reminded me of the kind of decisions leaders face every day. Whether at home or at work, leadership often requires choosing the harder, longer-term path over the quick or convenient one. Strong leaders recognize that their role is to prioritize what’s best for the team and the organization—even when that means making decisions that won’t be popular. They don’t shy away from discomfort or default to the easier path. Instead, they lead with courage, knowing that real leadership means doing what’s right, not just what’s easy.

That conversation with my daughter was a reminder of a universal leadership truth: sometimes the right choice is the hard one. And while the context may differ, the principles are the same.

Here are three ways this shows up in leadership, and why the ability to make tough, values-driven decisions is essential to building trust, credibility, and a high-performing team:

1.    Leadership Means Choosing Long-Term Impact Over Short-Term Comfort

It’s tempting to avoid tough decisions in the moment—whether it’s overlooking underperformance to avoid conflict, holding off on a necessary restructure, or sticking with the status quo to keep the peace. But leadership isn’t about comfort; it’s about clarity. When leaders consistently make decisions based on what will serve the team, credit union, and mission in the long run, even if it’s unpopular, they build trust, consistency, and a stronger foundation. Avoiding challenging conversations and decisions only compounds issues and creates misalignment.

2. Avoiding Discomfort Undermines Leadership

Many leaders fall into the trap of people-pleasing or conflict avoidance. But avoiding discomfort usually leads to bigger issues later—burnout, disengagement, and misalignment. Leadership requires being able to sit in that tension, knowing that hard conversations and decisions are part of the job. For example, giving honest feedback to a team member who is underperforming to help them learn and grow may be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for their personal performance, and the performance of the entire team. When leaders model this courage, they give others permission to face challenges directly too.

3. Consistency Builds Credibility

Leadership is built in the everyday actions and interactions. When leaders consistently make thoughtful, principled decisions, even the difficult ones, they demonstrate reliability and integrity in action. Their team learns they can be trusted to lead with fairness and purpose. Over time, this builds credibility and trust. Team members may not always agree with every decision, but they’ll respect a leader who is consistent, fair, and guided by something deeper than convenience or popularity. In addition, inconsistency erodes trust fast. If you avoid challenging moments, decisions, and conversations, your team becomes frustrated and disengaged. Steady leadership, especially in uncomfortable moments, creates psychological safety and a strong foundation for performance.

We came close to giving in and getting my daughter a phone. Sometimes it’s easier to do what everyone else is doing rather than stand your ground. Even though I had reservations, I found myself leaning toward saying yes—because, in the short term, it would have made things easier. No more complaints about being one of the only kids in her friend group without one. No more negotiating every time the topic came up. And no more judgments from others who thought we were hurting her more by not giving her a phone, because she would feel left out.

But deep down, I knew that decision would bring a different set of challenges. Helping her stay focused during a demanding school year. Managing screen time during our family vacation. Worrying about the long-term impact of introducing a powerful distraction at a time when her brain is still developing.

In the end, I had to quiet the noise—her disappointment, my own discomfort, and the pressure to do what everyone else was doing—and come back to what matters most for our family. Leadership, like parenting, isn’t about choosing what feels good in the moment. It’s about making choices that align with your values, even when they’re hard. And sometimes, the most loving or effective decision is the one that takes the most courage.

Laurie Maddalena, MBA, CSP, CPCC, is a professional speaker, leadership consultant and founder of CUES Supplier member Envision Excellence LLC in the Washington, D.C., area. Her mission is to rid the world of bad management practices and help organizations create cultures where people love to come to work. Maddalena facilitates management and executive training programs and team-building sessions and speaks at leadership events. Prior to starting her business, she was a human resources and organizational development executive at a credit union in Maryland. Contact her at 240.605.7940 or laurie@lauriemaddalena.com