Feedback That Fuels Growth

There is a moment every growing leader eventually faces in their career: providing feedback to individuals that are missing the mark, not meeting expectations, or need to work on refining their skills to foster a better organizational culture.

There are two easy paths most new leaders take: softening the message so much that it becomes vague, or in being so direct that the person leaves discouraged, defensive, or disconnected.

Neither approach builds the kind of credibility needed to excel in your leadership journey.

Constructive feedback should be designed to guide someone with what is working, what is not working, and what possible development opportunities exist. For leaders in credit unions, where culture, trust, and member value matter, feedback is more than a management task; it’s how you protect performance and people at the same time.

As you grow in your leadership capabilities, giving feedback becomes a signal of your readiness. Great leaders do not avoid hard conversations, and they do not use them to diminish people. They create clarity, preserve dignity, and help others move forward.

Why Feedback Often Misses the Mark

Most leaders struggle with difficult conversations because they care about the relationship and worry the conversation will damage it. However, avoiding feedback rarely protects morale for long and instead usually creates confusion, frustration, and rework amongst staff.
Problems arise when feedback feels like a surprise, a label, or a verdict.

• A surprise sounds like, "This has been a problem for months," when the person is hearing it clearly for the first time.
• A label sounds like, "You are not strategic," without explaining the specific behavior that needs to change.
• A verdict sounds like, "This is just how you are," instead of, "Here is what happened, here is the impact, and here is what we can do next."

Feedback should not leave people guessing about their value. It should give them a clearer path to grow.

Start With the Right Mindset

Before you decide what to say, decide how you want the person to feel when the conversation ends. That does not mean you are responsible for every emotion that arises in the conversation, but it does mean you are responsible for your intent, your tone, and your clarity as their leader.

A helpful mindset: I am giving this feedback because I believe this person can grow, and because their work matters.

That mindset changes the conversation and keeps you from over-apologizing for having a standard. It also keeps you from confusing directness with harshness. You can be kind and clear at the same time. In fact, clarity is often one of the kindest things a leader can offer.

Use the Growth Feedback Equation

When feedback needs to correct, redirect, or develop performance, try using four simple parts: care, clarity, choice, and follow-through.

1.    Care: Affirm the Person, Not the Problem

Start by grounding the conversation in support, not criticism. This does not mean using a "compliment sandwich," where the real message is hidden between two nice statements; it means that you approach the conversation with words that feel genuine.

You might say:

• "I want to talk about something that will help you be more effective in this role."
• "I am sharing this because I know you care about doing strong work."
• "This is a growth conversation, not a ‘gotcha’ conversation."

You are making a clear statement regarding something that affects their success, not making a personal attack on the person.

2.    Clarity: Describe What Happened and Why It Matters

Feedback becomes safer and more useful when it focuses on observable behavior, not assumptions about character. The Center for Creative Leadership describes this through the Situation-Behavior-Impact approach, often called SBI. The idea is simple: name the specific situation, describe the behavior, and explain the impact.

For a deeper look at this model, see the Center for Creative Leadership resource on the SBI feedback model.

Instead of: "You need to communicate better."

Try: "In yesterday's project update, a few people seemed unclear about the decision we needed to make because we moved straight to tasks prior to explaining the goal. The impact was that we spent extra time backing up and restating the purpose. Next time, I would like you to start with the goal, the decision needed, and the member or business impact before moving into the details."

That feedback is still direct and is also action-oriented for the recipient.

3.    Choice: Invite Ownership of the Next Step

Feedback should not create dependence on the leader to solve everything. A leader’s goal is to empower others and invite the employee to create and propose a solution. After naming the behavior and impact, pause and ask:

• "What would help you approach it differently next time?"
• "What is one step you can take before our next check-in?"
• "What support would be useful from me?"

This is where feedback turns into a development opportunity. Leaders have the opportunity to lead with curiosity and invite the employee to practice self-awareness, problem-solving, and accountability, all competencies they will need as they grow into larger roles.

4.    Follow-Through: Make Growth Visible

A feedback conversation without follow-through can feel like criticism, while a feedback conversation with follow-through feels like coaching. Before you close out the meeting, agree on what will happen next.

• What will the employee do differently?
• When will you check in? Make a time-bound commitment.
• How will progress be noticed?
• What support or resources are needed?

This supports a culture of development by helping employees stay engaged when they can see a path forward and know their leader is paying attention to progress, not just mistakes.

Balance Correction with Recognition

If the only time people hear from a leader is when something is wrong, feedback will start to feel threatening. Recognition is also a form of feedback. It reinforces the behaviors employees should repeat, highlights what matters most, and connects individual contributions to the organization’s strategic vision.

Gallup and Workhuman have reported that valuable feedback and recognition are tied to stronger engagement and reduced burnout. Their research reinforces a practical leadership lesson: people are more open to constructive feedback when they also receive timely, authentic recognition for what they are doing well. Explore their findings on feedback and recognition here.

This does not mean every correction needs praise attached to it. It means leaders should build a broader rhythm of noticing, naming, and reinforcing good work so corrective feedback is not the only form of attention people receive.

For example: "Your follow-up with that member showed strong ownership. That is the level of care we want to model."

Specific recognition builds confidence and constructive feedback builds capability. Leaders need to be able to reinforce both.

What to Avoid

Even well-intended feedback can miss the mark, but you can watch for these common traps:

• Being vague: "Do better" is not feedback. Name the behavior and the expected standard.
• Saving everything for a formal review: Feedback is most helpful when it is close to the moment and connected to real work.
• Making it personal: Talk about actions, choices, impact, and expectations. Avoid labels like lazy, defensive, or difficult.
• Over-talking: Once you have shared the message clearly, pause. Give the person space to respond.
• Rescuing too quickly: Do not rush to remove all discomfort. Growth often includes a few honest moments of reflection.

A Simple Script to Borrow

The next time you need to give constructive feedback, try this structure:

1. "I want to share something that I believe will help you be more effective."
2. "Here is the situation I noticed..."
3. "Here is the specific behavior..."
4. "Here is the impact it had on the work, the team, or the member experience..."
5. "What is your perspective?"
6. "What would you like to try next time?"
7. "Let's agree on one next step and check back in."

This structure helps you stay focused when the conversation feels uncomfortable but allows you to add language that matches your leadership style.

When the Conversation Gets Tense

In cases where the employee becomes quiet, emotional, or defensive, it does not always mean you did something wrong. Feedback can be hard to hear, particularly when someone cares about or is close to their work.

In those moments, slow down. You might say, "I can see this is landing heavily, which was not my intent. What I would like to do is work through it together."

Or

"I want to understand your view before we decide next steps."

Staying calm and managing emotions is part of leadership. Matching defensiveness with defensiveness causes the conversation to become about tone instead of growth. While remaining steady, you create room for the person to regain footing and re-engage.

Feedback Is an Executive Skill

As leaders move toward executive roles, the work becomes less about personally solving every problem and more about creating the conditions for others to provide solutions and create impact.

Feedback is one of those conditions.

Feedback reinforces team and organizational expectations while building trust and enhancing the employee’s ability to make sound decisions. It helps people understand how their behavior connects to team results, organizational priorities, and member value.

The leaders who influence are not the ones who avoid discomfort and difficult conversations. They can communicate the truth in a way that helps people become action oriented and know morale is not protected by silence but instead by clarity, support, and follow-through.

Before your next feedback conversation, ask yourself:

• Is my intent to help this person grow?
• Can I describe the behavior without labeling the person?
• Can I connect the feedback to impact?
• Am I prepared to listen, not just talk?
• What next step will help this person leave with direction?

Feedback that fuels growth does not need to be too soft or incredibly harsh for behavior to change. Feedback that fuel growth is clear, human, and development forward. Done well, it strengthens both performance and morale by creating the kind of culture people want to contribute to, stay in, and grow with.

Amber Bailey is CUES' Learning Experience & Product Development Director