The Leadership Power Behind Listening

Great leaders do more than hear what people say. They listen for what is underneath the words, challenge their own assumptions, and use what they learn to lead better.

It is easy to think of listening as a soft skill; something good leaders do, but not necessarily something that drives results.

I see it differently. Listening is how we learn what we do not know.

You cannot serve a member you do not understand. You cannot lead a team you have not heard. And you cannot make a good decision if you are only listening for information that confirms what you already believe.

When I stepped into a new leadership role, I had ideas. I had experience. I had a vision for what I hoped to accomplish. But I also knew something very important: I was new.

Before I could make meaningful changes, I needed to understand the people, the work, and the relationships already in place. That meant listening.

Not listening so I could check a box. Listening to understand. And what I heard shaped how I began to lead.

Before We Listen, We Have to Look Inward

Good listening starts before someone else ever speaks. It starts with knowing yourself.

We all have instincts that influence how we listen. Some of us immediately look for a solution. Some want more information. Some focus on how someone is feeling. Others are already thinking about the next step.

None of those instincts are wrong. The challenge is knowing which instincts might get in our way.

One of the ideas from Jon Gordon’s book “The Energy Bus,” which my team recently read together, is that we are the driver of our own bus. I think that applies to listening, too.

Before we can hear someone else clearly, we have to be aware of what we are bringing into the conversation.

Are we listening with curiosity, or are we already planning our response?
Are we giving someone space to finish their thought, or are we already preparing our solution?

I know I can move quickly into action. When I see an opportunity or a problem, my instinct is to figure out what comes next. That can be a strength. Leaders need to make decisions and move things forward. But it can also become a blind spot if I move before I fully understand what I am hearing.

Humility reminds me that my first instinct is not always the right one.

I have also learned that leading a team does not mean leading every person the same way. Different personalities, strengths, experiences, and communication styles require me to pay attention and adapt. Those differences shape how people communicate, which means they also shape how I need to listen.

Leadership is a lot like music. You do not need everyone playing the same instrument. You need everyone playing their part, listening to one another and moving toward the same goal. The goal is not uniformity. It is harmony.

Self-awareness gives us the opportunity to pause. It allows us to ask, “What am I hearing, and what might I be missing?” That is a question I am learning to ask more often.

Listen for the Essence

One book that has stayed with me over the years is Studs Terkel’s “Working.” I read it some time ago, but I still find myself thinking about the way Terkel approached conversations with people about their work.

He was not simply interested in what people did. He wanted to learn how to understand what their work meant to them. What it gave them. What it took from them. What made it matter.

One idea from Terkel’s work that is especially memorable is the search for the “quintessential truth,” the essence of what someone is trying to tell you. The idea has stayed with me because I think leaders have a similar responsibility.

Sometimes the words are not the whole story. “I need more structure” might really mean, “I need clarity.”

“I do not need another product” might really mean, “You have not understood what I need.”

“Everything is fine” might mean something very different.

The point is not to assume we know what is underneath someone’s words. It is to become curious enough to find out.  

This takes a different kind of listening. It means paying attention to the words, the context, and the person behind them. It means resisting the urge to rush toward an answer and being willing to ask one more question.

Sometimes the most important thing someone tells us is not what they say first. We have to listen long enough to hear it. I’ve seen this same truth show up outside of work too, especially in parenting.

My Kids Taught Me Something About Listening

Some of the best lessons about listening did not come from a leadership book or a professional development program.

They came from being a parent.

There are plenty of times when one of my children came to me with a problem and my first instinct was to fix it. I wanted to give advice, solve the problem, and make things better.

Because apparently, being a parent means being promoted to Chief Problem Solver without ever applying for the position.

But sometimes they did not need me to fix anything. They simply needed me to listen. That lesson has stayed with me because leadership can work the same way.

Someone on your team may bring a problem, concern, or idea. Your first impulse may be to solve it. You may even have a solution before they finish explaining the situation.

But what if the most valuable thing you could do in that moment is ask another question?

“Tell me more. What am I missing? How do you see it?”

Those questions may not feel as productive as jumping right into solving the problem. But they can lead to a much better solution because you are solving the right problem.

Sometimes leadership means resisting the urge to jump in with, “I know exactly what you mean.” Sometimes the better response is simply, “Help me understand.”

Member Experience Starts Before the Conversation

This same principle applies to how credit unions serve their members.

Credit unions talk a lot about being member focused, but that requires more than good products or great service. It requires understanding what matters to the members in front of you. Listening matters now more than ever because member expectations are changing faster than assumptions.

That starts with curiosity. The better you understand a member’s needs, behaviors, and circumstances, the better positioned you are to remain relevant to them. That understanding does not come from saying “we are member focused.” It happens when you take the time to learn.

Credit union executives receive countless emails, calls, meeting requests, and messages every day. Everyone has something they want to sell, share, or discuss. It’s easy to lead with a pitch.

But what if you started somewhere else? What if you prepared before you pitched? What if you took the time to understand the credit union, its strategy, its challenges, and the communities it serves?

The conversation changes.

A thoughtful question based on something we learned can be more valuable than a perfectly prepared sales presentation.

Listening does not always mean waiting for someone to speak. Sometimes listening means doing your homework first. The numbers tell us something. Member feedback tells us something. Strategic priorities tell us something.

But we still must listen for the story behind the information. That is where relationships move beyond transactions.

People Need to Feel Heard

Listening is also one of the simplest ways to build trust.

People want to know what they say matters. That does not mean a leader will always agree with them. It does not mean every suggestion will become a decision. It means they know their perspective was considered.

That distinction matters. Asking for feedback is not enough. Leaders also have to create an environment where people believe it is safe to give it. Active listening is one practical way to build that habit.

There is a big difference between asking, “Any questions?” and asking, “What am I missing?”

There is a difference between saying, “Does everyone agree?” and asking, “Are there any risks that I may have overlooked?”

The second question gives people permission to be honest. And sometimes the answer we need most is the one that makes us uncomfortable. That is where listening becomes leadership.

Listening is not about making everyone feel good. It is about being willing to hear what you need to hear, even when it challenges your thinking, your assumptions or the decision you were already ready to make.

Make Listening a Practice

It takes intentionality to slow down when you think you already know the answer.

• Ask before deciding. Before making a change, ask the people closest to the work what they see that you may not.
• Pause before solving. When someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to immediately give an answer. Ask one more question first.
• Listen for the essence. Do not stop at the first answer. Ask yourself what the person may really be trying to tell you, then ask a question that helps you understand.
• Close the loop. If someone gives you feedback, let them know what you heard and what you are going to do with it. Even when the answer is no, explain why.

These are small changes, but they can change the quality of a conversation. And perhaps more importantly, they remind us that listening is not something we do once. It’s something we practice. Every leader can become more intentional about it.

Listening is not a soft skill; it’s how leaders make better decisions.

The Lesson I’m Still Learning

My biggest takeaway is simple: listening is not passive.

It takes discipline to slow down when you think you already know the answer.

It takes self-awareness to recognize when your own assumptions are getting in the way.

It takes curiosity to listen long enough to hear something that may challenge you, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

I’m still practicing all of this.

My goal is not to become the leader who always has the right answer. It is to become the leader who creates enough space to understand what people are really trying to tell me before I decide what comes next.

That matters whether I am sitting with a team member, talking with a credit union leader, working with a partner, or thinking about the member experience.

These questions may be different, but the responsibility is the same.

Listen first. Get curious. Look for the essence. Then decide what comes next.

Additional Reading

• Self-Awareness: Sticking the Landing in Leadership – Explore how self-perception and the way others experience us can shape our effectiveness.
• Member Experience: Future-Ready Credit Unions Are Built From the Inside Out – Knowing your members means understanding what matters to them, not simply knowing what products they use. This article explores how credit unions can stay relevant as member expectations continue to evolve.  
• Human Connection: Leading Digital Transformation Without Losing the Human Element – Listening is really about understanding people. This article explores how credit unions can embrace technology and innovation while keeping the human connection at the center of the member experience.